July 10th 2010 3pm - 9pm.
I arrived early as usual and started my shift early to assist The Legend who was getting a rare outing at the weekend.
Today the following characters were present: The Legend,slim Indian graduate,Polish Muslim,Russell (Rohul/Raoul),Noel Clarke extra,gayboy who isn't gay anymore and introducing the troubleshooter.
There is a young Pakistani male in his early 20's who,even though he isn't management,is the bloke we go to in the event of a problem.
He has been slaving away at the PLC for 2 years but told me that when he completes his computer studies degree he will go back to Pakistan."Even my parents think i'm wasting my time at the PLC" he told me one day.
He is also a blatant womaniser but is one fo those guys who girls want as a friend rather than a lover.
The Polish muslim and the slim Indian graduate are his girls and he continuously excuses them heavy manual work which i suppose is fair.The deal with this guy is that even the supervisors ask him solutions to problems.I've noticed that the supervisors, except Sandy Gall bags, can't deal with problems and they often engage the troubleshooter to bail them out of a hole.
Within an hour of working,the plump Indian supervisor had asked me to work until 10pm.He has started calling me Mr Flexi in reference to my stupid mistake at the interview when i told them i am flexible.I'm the only member of the entire workforce who is flexible.That means they can take the proverbial out of me and ask me to work any hours they want.
No matter how hard i tried the punters just weren't engaging in the banter.The heat had wiped most of them out.The English women are the best in the heat.They turn up with red faces and beads of sweat on their brows and are very stroppy.Some of them resembled Zombies.
The anorexic bird turned up at about 5pm.She was built like Victoria Beckham and had a face like the ex wife of Charles Spencer.I started talking to her because if she had some meat on the bone she would have been attractive.Another characteristic of anorexics is hairy arms and covered arms.Apparently,lack of food creates hair to keep the sufferers warm,the hair acts as a barrier.She purchased a few health bars and was from Belgium but obviously doesn't partake in waffles,chips or chocolates.
She returned a few minutes later to spend the last of her shrapnel and refused to buy the large bars of Aeros on special and spent her money on another health bar.
Most of the shift was spent with Russell,Raoul,Rohul.He still hasn't been given a standard issue t-shirt and was wearing casual clothes.He hates till work and spends most of the time floating around the unit tidying up,or so he says.He is very lazy and a messy worker.The highlight of his shift was selling 2 bags of Haribos and 3 Aeros to a Spanish woman who couldn't speak English.He smiled to himself after completing the transaction and immediately replenished his pile of junk food.
I had a look around the unit and that lazy git hadn't even tidied the fridge that doesn't work.We sold a lot of warm drinks today.
My final hour was spent back in the big unit with the Polish muslim tidying up.
I was given my "flexi" hours for next week and i am going to have to speak to the King on Monday morning.
Sunday, 11 July 2010
Friday, 9 July 2010
Working with The Legend
Friday 9th July 2010.8am-4pm
Spiritually refreshed but tired after a couple of drinks with City boy and the jeweller.
Entered the luxury staff room to find The Algerian studiously studying the paper delivery sheets and talking out aloud.He has to really concentrate on this so i wolf my pan au raisin and he tells me you're in the big unit.That's a result because all the main protagonists ply their trade in there.
The cockney scrubber is away for a few days so its me and The Legend until 2pm.I was determined to get into the mind of The Legend and find out what makes him tick.
Its always really busy on Friday's and according to the King's assistant it will get even busier when the kids break up for summer holidays at the end of next week.
The Legend carries his own pair of scissors and sellotape in case of emergencies.Slow boy was hovering around and still doesn't know my name after 6 weeks.
"Where have you worked before?" i enquired
"I worked for Pizza Hut when they first opened in London" he replied
"How long for?" i asked
"18 years at the branch in London,that was when overtime was available on an unlimited basis until Maggie stopped it" he continued.
"They would ask me how many hours a week do you want and i'd say 100 hours please, of which half of that was time and a half and sometimes double time" he added.
I was just about to get down to the nitty gritty when a huge queue appeared out of nowhere.I was on good form today and was hitting on the ladies in a big way and it was yielding good TPS results.I don't want anymore file notes just in case they tell me they've had enough.
There is this slim blonde,who could be Italian,that i have seen before.She is flat chested but sweet.We engaged in conversation:
"I've seen you here before" i enquired
"Yes,i work at XXXX" she answered
"That's a strange name for a clothes shop" i continued
"Why don't you pop in and have a look at the clothes" she dared.
"What time do you finish today?" i said
"5.30pm and you?" she winked
"4pm" i concluded.
Its clear what is emerging here.There are a lot of people who work in this station and they are all so pressured working in this environment that they're all up for a laugh.I may visit the clothes shop next week.
I splashed out on a meal deal for lunch.A member of staff i had a run in with a while back was also problematic today.I responded very aggressively to a question and then told her to get some manners.I need to look at this behaviour.
Back with The Legend for his final hour and his latest ruse with the punters to achieve sales is that he's diabetic.
"I'm diabetic but eat more chocolate than anyone" he said to a disbelieving punter.
Another new bloke on the block and guess what? Its another Asian male and because of my 6 weeks experience the slim Indian cricketer handed him over to me and told the new bod "Watch him he is a great example of customer service skills"
Glad to see that all that money my Dad paid on school fees came to something.He reckons he's a DJ and producer and is easing his way back into the workplace afer a year out.Basically,another member of the microwave generation.He short changed a couple of punters pleading ignorance.Not so sure DJ!!
The black BBW surfaced and i like it when she arrives because she spends the first 30 minutes of her shift tidying up and preparing for battle until the end of the evening.I took interest in her driving lessons and she passed her theory test this week.She lives in Hackney and is one of those sales assistants who is rude and unhelpful who if the boot was on the other foot i would want to throttle her.
She was surprised when she found out i was married with kids.Oh no i hope she doesn't think she was in with a shout!!
The slim Indian cricketer wants to get his kid into a football coaching set up in Ilford.I happen top know a coach over there so i told him i would give him a number on Monday.
Sandy Gall bags is away for 2 weeks.
4pm home time and out into the furnace.
Spiritually refreshed but tired after a couple of drinks with City boy and the jeweller.
Entered the luxury staff room to find The Algerian studiously studying the paper delivery sheets and talking out aloud.He has to really concentrate on this so i wolf my pan au raisin and he tells me you're in the big unit.That's a result because all the main protagonists ply their trade in there.
The cockney scrubber is away for a few days so its me and The Legend until 2pm.I was determined to get into the mind of The Legend and find out what makes him tick.
Its always really busy on Friday's and according to the King's assistant it will get even busier when the kids break up for summer holidays at the end of next week.
The Legend carries his own pair of scissors and sellotape in case of emergencies.Slow boy was hovering around and still doesn't know my name after 6 weeks.
"Where have you worked before?" i enquired
"I worked for Pizza Hut when they first opened in London" he replied
"How long for?" i asked
"18 years at the branch in London,that was when overtime was available on an unlimited basis until Maggie stopped it" he continued.
"They would ask me how many hours a week do you want and i'd say 100 hours please, of which half of that was time and a half and sometimes double time" he added.
I was just about to get down to the nitty gritty when a huge queue appeared out of nowhere.I was on good form today and was hitting on the ladies in a big way and it was yielding good TPS results.I don't want anymore file notes just in case they tell me they've had enough.
There is this slim blonde,who could be Italian,that i have seen before.She is flat chested but sweet.We engaged in conversation:
"I've seen you here before" i enquired
"Yes,i work at XXXX" she answered
"That's a strange name for a clothes shop" i continued
"Why don't you pop in and have a look at the clothes" she dared.
"What time do you finish today?" i said
"5.30pm and you?" she winked
"4pm" i concluded.
Its clear what is emerging here.There are a lot of people who work in this station and they are all so pressured working in this environment that they're all up for a laugh.I may visit the clothes shop next week.
I splashed out on a meal deal for lunch.A member of staff i had a run in with a while back was also problematic today.I responded very aggressively to a question and then told her to get some manners.I need to look at this behaviour.
Back with The Legend for his final hour and his latest ruse with the punters to achieve sales is that he's diabetic.
"I'm diabetic but eat more chocolate than anyone" he said to a disbelieving punter.
Another new bloke on the block and guess what? Its another Asian male and because of my 6 weeks experience the slim Indian cricketer handed him over to me and told the new bod "Watch him he is a great example of customer service skills"
Glad to see that all that money my Dad paid on school fees came to something.He reckons he's a DJ and producer and is easing his way back into the workplace afer a year out.Basically,another member of the microwave generation.He short changed a couple of punters pleading ignorance.Not so sure DJ!!
The black BBW surfaced and i like it when she arrives because she spends the first 30 minutes of her shift tidying up and preparing for battle until the end of the evening.I took interest in her driving lessons and she passed her theory test this week.She lives in Hackney and is one of those sales assistants who is rude and unhelpful who if the boot was on the other foot i would want to throttle her.
She was surprised when she found out i was married with kids.Oh no i hope she doesn't think she was in with a shout!!
The slim Indian cricketer wants to get his kid into a football coaching set up in Ilford.I happen top know a coach over there so i told him i would give him a number on Monday.
Sandy Gall bags is away for 2 weeks.
4pm home time and out into the furnace.
Thursday, 8 July 2010
Shelf stacking and The Romeo
7th July 2010.4pm-10pm
An unusual shift because i arrived having already been up since 6am.This place goes from one extreme to the other.On Monday there were no staff and today there are too many.The supervisors don't even know who is working.When i was greeted by the slim Indian cricketer he was shocked to see me.
However,i was immediately summoned to cage work which is always fun when the station is packed and you have to manoeuvre it through all the people.I pretend i'm Nigel Mansell and try not to crash into elderly people with sticks.
The first duty was magazine distribution which means i can have a subtle flick through all the women's gossip magazines and read about Jordan,Jordan,Jordan and Jordan.I don't know how she does it but she must have a great team behind her to keep her in the public eye regularly.
Then the distribution of drinks into the fridge which doesn't work.The punters pay £1.65 for a bottle of warm mineral water,according to Fat Indian bird its been broken for 3 months.Rasta boy was there,i told him his codename and he took it on the chin.
The guy who claimed he wanted to see rasta boy for an interview turned up.He was a clinically obese white male of about 35 who had sweat seeping through his t shirt.
"Come to the Hilton Metropole at 7pm" he gasped.
"Ok see you there" rasta boy replied
He asked my opinion and i thought it sounded like pyramid marketing.Rasta boy doesn't even know what he's going there for.Shame but he needs a good kick up the rectum.
The rest of the evening was spent in the big unit making lists and stacking shelves.I played games with myself to see how many chocolate bars i can hold in one hand and how quickly i can fill a shelf with Kit Kat's.Absolutely mentally stimulating!!
Thank g-d for The Romeo.I had been told about this character and his way with the women punters but had never seen him in action.
He is a 30-35 year old dark skinned Frenchman with glasses and a perm.
He talks to every woman he serves and comes out with incredible lines,i believe just to make them buy TPS (till point sales).
"What shampoo and hair conditioner do you use" he asked an attractive lady in her early 30's.
After a 20 second silence caused by shock she replied "Charles Worthington"
"I thought so it makes your hair look beautiful" he responded,with a twinkle in his eye.
He didn't care whether they were fat,thin,ugly or beautiful on he went.The queue's were building because of the time it took to serve the punters.The slim Indian cricketer was getting as annoyed as he can which isn't very visible.
"Tell the romeo to stop talking and just serve" he mumbled.
"Are you playing cricket this weekend" he enquired.
"Yes,Abbotts Langley" i replied.
"I always get a 50 against the team we're playing on Sunday" he countered proudly.
Bollywood princess was on the tills all night and was immaculately attired as usual but her nail varnish was chipped.She wasn't her usual bubbly self,i think she may have depression issues and that's the reason why she pulled out of her Paramedic degree this year.She warmed up towards the end of the evening and asked me how i got on at the Arsenal interview.
10 minutes before closing time she purchased 3 giant bars of Aero and 2 bags of fizzy Haribo's.
"That's healthy" i said.
"If i could i would melt all this chocolate and pour it over my head" she answered.
So,another shift complete in this melting pot of different characters all thrown together with one common goal,to sell TPS and get no incentive for it.
An unusual shift because i arrived having already been up since 6am.This place goes from one extreme to the other.On Monday there were no staff and today there are too many.The supervisors don't even know who is working.When i was greeted by the slim Indian cricketer he was shocked to see me.
However,i was immediately summoned to cage work which is always fun when the station is packed and you have to manoeuvre it through all the people.I pretend i'm Nigel Mansell and try not to crash into elderly people with sticks.
The first duty was magazine distribution which means i can have a subtle flick through all the women's gossip magazines and read about Jordan,Jordan,Jordan and Jordan.I don't know how she does it but she must have a great team behind her to keep her in the public eye regularly.
Then the distribution of drinks into the fridge which doesn't work.The punters pay £1.65 for a bottle of warm mineral water,according to Fat Indian bird its been broken for 3 months.Rasta boy was there,i told him his codename and he took it on the chin.
The guy who claimed he wanted to see rasta boy for an interview turned up.He was a clinically obese white male of about 35 who had sweat seeping through his t shirt.
"Come to the Hilton Metropole at 7pm" he gasped.
"Ok see you there" rasta boy replied
He asked my opinion and i thought it sounded like pyramid marketing.Rasta boy doesn't even know what he's going there for.Shame but he needs a good kick up the rectum.
The rest of the evening was spent in the big unit making lists and stacking shelves.I played games with myself to see how many chocolate bars i can hold in one hand and how quickly i can fill a shelf with Kit Kat's.Absolutely mentally stimulating!!
Thank g-d for The Romeo.I had been told about this character and his way with the women punters but had never seen him in action.
He is a 30-35 year old dark skinned Frenchman with glasses and a perm.
He talks to every woman he serves and comes out with incredible lines,i believe just to make them buy TPS (till point sales).
"What shampoo and hair conditioner do you use" he asked an attractive lady in her early 30's.
After a 20 second silence caused by shock she replied "Charles Worthington"
"I thought so it makes your hair look beautiful" he responded,with a twinkle in his eye.
He didn't care whether they were fat,thin,ugly or beautiful on he went.The queue's were building because of the time it took to serve the punters.The slim Indian cricketer was getting as annoyed as he can which isn't very visible.
"Tell the romeo to stop talking and just serve" he mumbled.
"Are you playing cricket this weekend" he enquired.
"Yes,Abbotts Langley" i replied.
"I always get a 50 against the team we're playing on Sunday" he countered proudly.
Bollywood princess was on the tills all night and was immaculately attired as usual but her nail varnish was chipped.She wasn't her usual bubbly self,i think she may have depression issues and that's the reason why she pulled out of her Paramedic degree this year.She warmed up towards the end of the evening and asked me how i got on at the Arsenal interview.
10 minutes before closing time she purchased 3 giant bars of Aero and 2 bags of fizzy Haribo's.
"That's healthy" i said.
"If i could i would melt all this chocolate and pour it over my head" she answered.
So,another shift complete in this melting pot of different characters all thrown together with one common goal,to sell TPS and get no incentive for it.
Tuesday, 6 July 2010
Another file note.
6th July 2010.8am - 4pm
Arrived early and was greeted by The Algerian.Still don't know what to make of this bloke.However,i know that i have to be very careful because he is friendly when he wants something and a moody sod when he doesn't get his own way.Sounds like a lot of people i know.
I was given a whole unit on my own between 8am and 11am.Imagine it i've been there 5 weeks and they give me a whole unit with thousands of pounds worth of stock all to myself.
For the first time in detected friction between the King and The Algerian.The King and his trustworthy assistant came to check up on me and The Algerian happened to be there as well also checking the unit.There is no communication between the management.
The Algerian snarled at the King and his assistant when there backs were turned.Its the sort of behaviour my 5 year old son enjoys.He is just so unrefined,i don't know how he's held this job down.He is unshaven most days and is very agressive.
After 3 hours of doing hardly any work because there are no customers i was relieved of my duties by one of the ill mannered black females who don't know how to behave.This one in particular is most obnoxious and grunts rather than talks.
Back down to the usual unit and immediately felt better on seeing the French queen who had returned from Belgium.Apparently,they wouldn't let him have 2 consecutive weeks holiday because they were too busy!!
Outrageous i thought,this guy work his balls off for the PLC and they call him back early.
It was me and actor Dave on the tills before he was summoned for book work.Whe he is under pressure he makes this groaning sound under his breath and suddenly looks extremely worried.The queen told me that actor Dave still lives with his mother and if he get shome late from work she tells him off.He is scared of The Algerian and he allows himself to be abused by The Algerian.If he hasn't completed a task he will happily stay on for no overtime to avoid incurring the wrath of The Algerian.
I spotted a dark haired woman wearing a revealing top yawning in the queue.I thought this is a golden opportunity to see how far i can go.As she approached the till i opened up with,"So,you had a late night did you?"
"Yes,and i'm 2 hours late for work" she giggled
"Will you get into trouble?" i enquired.
"No,i am the boss" she said with pride.
I couldn't take my eyes off her chest, they were bursting from her low cut top and she knew i was having trouble concentrating.
"Why did you have a late night" i continued.
"I won a new client and went out to celebrate" she added.
As she walked out of the unit and walked past the window she smiled and i waved to her.Off she went into the throng.The queen was smiling next to the fridge having watched the whole scene unfold.He winked at me and asked me if i took her number and called me a player.I told him that i'm married and it's just a game.
Rasta boy arrived,he's the only one who knows what i'm doing and has started speaking in the codenames.He reckons one of the punters has arranged an informal interview with him on Thursday at 6pm because he is interested in employing him for a sales business.I gave him some advice regarding the informal interview and what questions to ask him.
Another file note from The Algerian.He asked me to sign it,i told him i only sign things i read properly.I purposely read the short document over and over again to get his back up.That's my 3rd file note in a week and he gets some kind of power trip from handing these file notes out.They dish them out like confetti.
Rasta boy reckons 3 file notes equals a disciplinary.
I made arrangemenst to meet large Indian unit at 4pm after we finish our shifts to discuss the contracts and wage issues.
Fat Indian bird arrived and wasn't sweating.We discussed the file notes and she came up with some good ideas about incentivising the staff to sell the TPS and reward them with money.Of course it will never happen.
My covert meeting with large Indian unit took place and he is cutting his own hours in protest at the wages fiasco.Unfortunately,his best mate the slim Indian cricketer,who found him the job,has shown hsi true side.He found the big unit this job but they didn't discuss the contractual situation.Needless to say they have now fallen out and won't even play in the same cricket team.That is the ultimate insult within the Asian community.
"Don't mix business with pleasure" i stated.
"What does that mean?" he enquired.
I told him and he looked crestfallen.
We talked briefly about Bollywood princess,who i noticed has started wearing
Arrived early and was greeted by The Algerian.Still don't know what to make of this bloke.However,i know that i have to be very careful because he is friendly when he wants something and a moody sod when he doesn't get his own way.Sounds like a lot of people i know.
I was given a whole unit on my own between 8am and 11am.Imagine it i've been there 5 weeks and they give me a whole unit with thousands of pounds worth of stock all to myself.
For the first time in detected friction between the King and The Algerian.The King and his trustworthy assistant came to check up on me and The Algerian happened to be there as well also checking the unit.There is no communication between the management.
The Algerian snarled at the King and his assistant when there backs were turned.Its the sort of behaviour my 5 year old son enjoys.He is just so unrefined,i don't know how he's held this job down.He is unshaven most days and is very agressive.
After 3 hours of doing hardly any work because there are no customers i was relieved of my duties by one of the ill mannered black females who don't know how to behave.This one in particular is most obnoxious and grunts rather than talks.
Back down to the usual unit and immediately felt better on seeing the French queen who had returned from Belgium.Apparently,they wouldn't let him have 2 consecutive weeks holiday because they were too busy!!
Outrageous i thought,this guy work his balls off for the PLC and they call him back early.
It was me and actor Dave on the tills before he was summoned for book work.Whe he is under pressure he makes this groaning sound under his breath and suddenly looks extremely worried.The queen told me that actor Dave still lives with his mother and if he get shome late from work she tells him off.He is scared of The Algerian and he allows himself to be abused by The Algerian.If he hasn't completed a task he will happily stay on for no overtime to avoid incurring the wrath of The Algerian.
I spotted a dark haired woman wearing a revealing top yawning in the queue.I thought this is a golden opportunity to see how far i can go.As she approached the till i opened up with,"So,you had a late night did you?"
"Yes,and i'm 2 hours late for work" she giggled
"Will you get into trouble?" i enquired.
"No,i am the boss" she said with pride.
I couldn't take my eyes off her chest, they were bursting from her low cut top and she knew i was having trouble concentrating.
"Why did you have a late night" i continued.
"I won a new client and went out to celebrate" she added.
As she walked out of the unit and walked past the window she smiled and i waved to her.Off she went into the throng.The queen was smiling next to the fridge having watched the whole scene unfold.He winked at me and asked me if i took her number and called me a player.I told him that i'm married and it's just a game.
Rasta boy arrived,he's the only one who knows what i'm doing and has started speaking in the codenames.He reckons one of the punters has arranged an informal interview with him on Thursday at 6pm because he is interested in employing him for a sales business.I gave him some advice regarding the informal interview and what questions to ask him.
Another file note from The Algerian.He asked me to sign it,i told him i only sign things i read properly.I purposely read the short document over and over again to get his back up.That's my 3rd file note in a week and he gets some kind of power trip from handing these file notes out.They dish them out like confetti.
Rasta boy reckons 3 file notes equals a disciplinary.
I made arrangemenst to meet large Indian unit at 4pm after we finish our shifts to discuss the contracts and wage issues.
Fat Indian bird arrived and wasn't sweating.We discussed the file notes and she came up with some good ideas about incentivising the staff to sell the TPS and reward them with money.Of course it will never happen.
My covert meeting with large Indian unit took place and he is cutting his own hours in protest at the wages fiasco.Unfortunately,his best mate the slim Indian cricketer,who found him the job,has shown hsi true side.He found the big unit this job but they didn't discuss the contractual situation.Needless to say they have now fallen out and won't even play in the same cricket team.That is the ultimate insult within the Asian community.
"Don't mix business with pleasure" i stated.
"What does that mean?" he enquired.
I told him and he looked crestfallen.
We talked briefly about Bollywood princess,who i noticed has started wearing
Monday, 5 July 2010
The King and I
5th July 2010.7am - 3pm
Absolute chaos.All units were supposed to have opened at 6am and at 7am they were still closed.
The poor stand in supervisor was on the concourse with 2 red cages full of newspapers and magazines but with no staff to assist.I started my shift early to help get the show on the road.
However,it meant that i had to distribute hundreds of papers and magazines.This isn't good for my dodgy neck but i had to do it.We were up against it because once you fall behind at the beginning of the day you are always playing catch up.
The story behind this chaos was the Algerian with the facial twitch called in ill.The french queen is still on holiday,the long serving Somalian has left and the depressed Algerian wasn't at work either.None of those positions had been covered.Also,the Algerian was off for 2 days.
I met the longest serving member of staff,an ageing Indian with poor English,who has been at the PLC for 20 years.That is remarkable and extremely disturbing that this bloke had no ambition but if he enjoys it then good luck to him.
It was so chaotic the King and his assistant had to fill up the fridges with sandwiches and smoothies.
Whilst on my break i decided to speak to the KIng about my concerns regarding the wages.This was instigated because the well built Indian unit,who is very friendly with the slim Indian cricketer,took me to one side in the stock room and explained a problem he has had about his wages!!
He made sure we were out of sight of the CCTV and told me that he hasn't received monies due to him.I digested this news and immediately confronted the King.
"I would like to have a discussion with you regarding the unpaid wages and my contract of employment" i began agressively.
"Kindly show me a copy of my contract" i continued.
"I am concerned about what i'm hearing from other staff regarding the flexi contracts and non payment of salaries".
"Ok firstly lets have a look at your contract" he replied very cooly with a slight West Country drawl.
"You are on a fixed term contract which expires on August 27th" he said.
"One week before that date i will write to you with our intentions going forward" he continued.
Basically,their contracts are worded so tightly that they cover every possible angle.I will constantly be working monthly in arrears.I told him i have mouths to feed and i have never worked anywhere without getting paid for the hours at the end of the month.
I have to keep this going.Actor Dave was on the circuit today,as usual i enquired about his progress in that field.He scratched his head and dishonestly told me that he had sent off CV's.
The punters weren't very receptive today probably because of my frame of mind.
What amazes me about this place is that despite the blatant lack of staff somehow the business keeps going and just about has enough stock to service their needs.They clearly keep on trimming the labour costs in order to maximize profits.They know the levels of service are poor due to lack of staff but i think the management are on incentives if they keep on increasing profits.But business is business.
3pm finish and off to the Emirates for an interview/training session.
Absolute chaos.All units were supposed to have opened at 6am and at 7am they were still closed.
The poor stand in supervisor was on the concourse with 2 red cages full of newspapers and magazines but with no staff to assist.I started my shift early to help get the show on the road.
However,it meant that i had to distribute hundreds of papers and magazines.This isn't good for my dodgy neck but i had to do it.We were up against it because once you fall behind at the beginning of the day you are always playing catch up.
The story behind this chaos was the Algerian with the facial twitch called in ill.The french queen is still on holiday,the long serving Somalian has left and the depressed Algerian wasn't at work either.None of those positions had been covered.Also,the Algerian was off for 2 days.
I met the longest serving member of staff,an ageing Indian with poor English,who has been at the PLC for 20 years.That is remarkable and extremely disturbing that this bloke had no ambition but if he enjoys it then good luck to him.
It was so chaotic the King and his assistant had to fill up the fridges with sandwiches and smoothies.
Whilst on my break i decided to speak to the KIng about my concerns regarding the wages.This was instigated because the well built Indian unit,who is very friendly with the slim Indian cricketer,took me to one side in the stock room and explained a problem he has had about his wages!!
He made sure we were out of sight of the CCTV and told me that he hasn't received monies due to him.I digested this news and immediately confronted the King.
"I would like to have a discussion with you regarding the unpaid wages and my contract of employment" i began agressively.
"Kindly show me a copy of my contract" i continued.
"I am concerned about what i'm hearing from other staff regarding the flexi contracts and non payment of salaries".
"Ok firstly lets have a look at your contract" he replied very cooly with a slight West Country drawl.
"You are on a fixed term contract which expires on August 27th" he said.
"One week before that date i will write to you with our intentions going forward" he continued.
Basically,their contracts are worded so tightly that they cover every possible angle.I will constantly be working monthly in arrears.I told him i have mouths to feed and i have never worked anywhere without getting paid for the hours at the end of the month.
I have to keep this going.Actor Dave was on the circuit today,as usual i enquired about his progress in that field.He scratched his head and dishonestly told me that he had sent off CV's.
The punters weren't very receptive today probably because of my frame of mind.
What amazes me about this place is that despite the blatant lack of staff somehow the business keeps going and just about has enough stock to service their needs.They clearly keep on trimming the labour costs in order to maximize profits.They know the levels of service are poor due to lack of staff but i think the management are on incentives if they keep on increasing profits.But business is business.
3pm finish and off to the Emirates for an interview/training session.
Sunday, 4 July 2010
Algerian sadness
Saturday 3rd July 2010.8am - 4pm
A glorious sunny morning as I arrived for another shift at the PLC.
Before i entered the unit I soaked up some early morning sunshine and saw the Algerian hardcore walking towards me looking depressed.
"I'm getting divorced and sending her back to Algeria,I can't stand it anymore" he muttered.
"Sorry to hear that" as i put my arm on his shoulder and consoled him.
He continued by telling me how the relationship has broken down and fortunately they don't have any kids.
I explained my experience and suggested that he sees his GP and gets a referral for some couples therapy.He was very grateful and told me he had to see the King and apologise for being late yesterday.He starts his shift at 2am!!
Greeted by yet another Asian supervisor i;m beginning to think that the employment policy is in breach of equal opportunities.Where are all the whites? Is it because the job is too menial for the microwave generation?
The first hour was spent covering breaks for the early lads and i settled into a shift at the big unit.I'm beginning to enjoy this because its such a challenge not stooping to the level of mediocrity around me.The king was in today and The Algerian was in as well.Apparently they work one weekend in 6.
The lower class Indian was with me for a couple of hours.Her English is shocking but she has developed a public school accent only for greeting the customers, "Hello" she says in a clipped accent with a hint of Frankie Howerd.
She is also a control freak who keeps on telling me what to do.I ignore her and carry on with what i do best which is sell sell sell.
The weekend punters are very friendly and i can take the piss out of them more without them noticing.I mistakenly spoke French to two seperate frauleins and they found it very amusing.
I was banking on the Bollywood Princess working today but i've got a feeling she may have left already.There are so many staff its difficult to know who will be there from one day to the next.
Once again i have been proved wrong about the sexuality of one of the staff.I took lunch whilst sitting on the steps outside the station and i bumped into white gay boy sitting with a very attractive young girl with braces on her teeth.
"This is my girlfriend xxxx" he said
"Hi pleased to meet you" i replied in shock.
Had some fun with slow boy.He is very impressed with the way i engage the punters and then suck them into buying unhealthy promotions.He reckons i've got the "gift of the gab".
One of the females offered me a free T shirt from Elle magazine for my girlfriend,i politely refused and told her that i'm married.Its very important to remain honest because it would be very busy to create an illusion in order to fulfill my fantasies.
At approximately 2pm yet another Asian boy turned up who looked like he'd stepped straight off a Noel Clarke film set.They gave him 10 minutes till training and then one of the rotund weekend supervisors threw him to the wolves and said "Any problems speak to Jerome he's experienced "
So after,5 weeks i'm now regarded as an old hand capable of imparting my considerable knowledge onto a yound Asian from Forest Gate.
The King was impressed with me today because i solved a problem with one of their promotions.The gift cards weren't being swiped correctly because of a software glitch.
"Are you manging to do the promotion" he barked.
"If we input the numbers manually it works" i replied proudly
"Good,let all the other units know that if there is a problem to input the numbers manually" he ordered.
So,do i try and get promoted and see how far i can get in the hierarchy?
A glorious sunny morning as I arrived for another shift at the PLC.
Before i entered the unit I soaked up some early morning sunshine and saw the Algerian hardcore walking towards me looking depressed.
"I'm getting divorced and sending her back to Algeria,I can't stand it anymore" he muttered.
"Sorry to hear that" as i put my arm on his shoulder and consoled him.
He continued by telling me how the relationship has broken down and fortunately they don't have any kids.
I explained my experience and suggested that he sees his GP and gets a referral for some couples therapy.He was very grateful and told me he had to see the King and apologise for being late yesterday.He starts his shift at 2am!!
Greeted by yet another Asian supervisor i;m beginning to think that the employment policy is in breach of equal opportunities.Where are all the whites? Is it because the job is too menial for the microwave generation?
The first hour was spent covering breaks for the early lads and i settled into a shift at the big unit.I'm beginning to enjoy this because its such a challenge not stooping to the level of mediocrity around me.The king was in today and The Algerian was in as well.Apparently they work one weekend in 6.
The lower class Indian was with me for a couple of hours.Her English is shocking but she has developed a public school accent only for greeting the customers, "Hello" she says in a clipped accent with a hint of Frankie Howerd.
She is also a control freak who keeps on telling me what to do.I ignore her and carry on with what i do best which is sell sell sell.
The weekend punters are very friendly and i can take the piss out of them more without them noticing.I mistakenly spoke French to two seperate frauleins and they found it very amusing.
I was banking on the Bollywood Princess working today but i've got a feeling she may have left already.There are so many staff its difficult to know who will be there from one day to the next.
Once again i have been proved wrong about the sexuality of one of the staff.I took lunch whilst sitting on the steps outside the station and i bumped into white gay boy sitting with a very attractive young girl with braces on her teeth.
"This is my girlfriend xxxx" he said
"Hi pleased to meet you" i replied in shock.
Had some fun with slow boy.He is very impressed with the way i engage the punters and then suck them into buying unhealthy promotions.He reckons i've got the "gift of the gab".
One of the females offered me a free T shirt from Elle magazine for my girlfriend,i politely refused and told her that i'm married.Its very important to remain honest because it would be very busy to create an illusion in order to fulfill my fantasies.
At approximately 2pm yet another Asian boy turned up who looked like he'd stepped straight off a Noel Clarke film set.They gave him 10 minutes till training and then one of the rotund weekend supervisors threw him to the wolves and said "Any problems speak to Jerome he's experienced "
So after,5 weeks i'm now regarded as an old hand capable of imparting my considerable knowledge onto a yound Asian from Forest Gate.
The King was impressed with me today because i solved a problem with one of their promotions.The gift cards weren't being swiped correctly because of a software glitch.
"Are you manging to do the promotion" he barked.
"If we input the numbers manually it works" i replied proudly
"Good,let all the other units know that if there is a problem to input the numbers manually" he ordered.
So,do i try and get promoted and see how far i can get in the hierarchy?
Friday, 2 July 2010
Friday mayhem
2nd July 2010.8am - 4pm
Spiritually and physically refreshed after having Thursday off but another neck spasm is causing physical difficulties.
Straight into the big unit expecting to see The Legend and the Cockney scrubber.Instead greeted by slow boy and the scrubber.
"Where's the legend?" i said
"He came in yesterday and the PLC told him to have 2 days holiday" the scrubber shouted.
"You mean he doesn't request his own holiday dates?" i replied.
"That's right he only stays at home and watches TV on his days off" she responded.
Unbelievable i thought.He doesn't even arrange proper annual leave and what's more the PLC decide your leave days if you don't apply for any holiday leave.
So,slow boy was with us until 10am but he hates the tills because he is mentally slow and can't handle the pace.So,its me and the Cockney scrubber for the whole day,bring it on I thought.
Fridays are notoriously hard,weekend travellers kids on holiday and couples taking romantic trips away.The scrubber is very loud and will suddenly pass ridiculous comments whilst serving customers,"I have to go for a break slow boy was supposed to come back at 11am" she bellowed.
"It looks like its you and me today so lets get on with it" i replied.
The queues were continuous i really pushed the TPS (till point sales) even though i know that the chocolate sales would be very tough.The chewing gum and fruitellas went well especially to American girls with braces on their teeth and clinically obese women.
The Algerian was under pressure due to lack of staff.They are intentionally keeping staffing levels low to maximise profit margins even though we need more staff.
He was unshaven and sweating profusely from his brow.At one point i asked him if he was ok.He'd had a 45 minute conference call probably with head office and i could tell his head was spinning.I have to give him credit because he just keeps it going and holds it down well.A couple of days ago i found out that he is in a relationship with the black BBW whose brother died whilst she was working.Now that is a shocker.
The Algerian is about 5'4 with a beer gut and looks like an associate of Yasser Arafat.She is about 5'0 with a pair of Bristols like Tina Small (ex Sunday Sport model).Put it this way she could bury him between them.
A brief mention must be made of the other Algerians who were introduced to the PLC by The Algerian.They both do the magazines and one of them is very white for an Algerian and suffers from a disturbing tick in his face where he twists his mouth and closes his eyes when he speaks and it happens every 10 seconds.The other one who had already been discussed as the "hardcore" Algerian who always looks asleep, resembles one of the prison guards in Midnight Express.
I was flying and its becoming very obvious to me that i only talk to attractive females aged 18-45.I ignore everyone else,my French is coming along nicely and had been creating a good impression with the Madmoiselles.
Train spotting is alive and well in the UK,we do a roaring trade in the weekly train publications and the stereotypical tarin spotter is changing and younger men with ponytails are getting in on the act.
The GAY mags went very well today and some of the punters present the mags face down so as not to be outed.I always turn them over and make sure when they pay they are in full view of everyone!!
The slim Indian cricketer was in as usual and he is very calm and never gets flustered.The king spent a lot of time with him today and when he has finished with the King he always comes back in and says " Can you do me a favour i need you to do this..."
All the Asians and non English speakers always start off sentences that way.They are our superiors so why are we doing them a favour?
No sign of the Indian boss or Bollywood Princess.The cockney scrubber and i are becoming good work colleagues thanks to my outburst a while back.
Gay boy turned up for the final 2 hours and before he settled into his impressive TPS positioning i made him clear all the rubbish out because the collection hadn't occured.One of my highlights was a man with learning difficulties walk over to the till with a huge Happy Birthday badge on his lapel.I made an effort to engage with him and wished him Happy Birthday.His carer winked at me and whispered thank you.2 hours later he came back because "he loves shopping here" the carer stated.
4pm was here and i walked out into the summer heat.
Spiritually and physically refreshed after having Thursday off but another neck spasm is causing physical difficulties.
Straight into the big unit expecting to see The Legend and the Cockney scrubber.Instead greeted by slow boy and the scrubber.
"Where's the legend?" i said
"He came in yesterday and the PLC told him to have 2 days holiday" the scrubber shouted.
"You mean he doesn't request his own holiday dates?" i replied.
"That's right he only stays at home and watches TV on his days off" she responded.
Unbelievable i thought.He doesn't even arrange proper annual leave and what's more the PLC decide your leave days if you don't apply for any holiday leave.
So,slow boy was with us until 10am but he hates the tills because he is mentally slow and can't handle the pace.So,its me and the Cockney scrubber for the whole day,bring it on I thought.
Fridays are notoriously hard,weekend travellers kids on holiday and couples taking romantic trips away.The scrubber is very loud and will suddenly pass ridiculous comments whilst serving customers,"I have to go for a break slow boy was supposed to come back at 11am" she bellowed.
"It looks like its you and me today so lets get on with it" i replied.
The queues were continuous i really pushed the TPS (till point sales) even though i know that the chocolate sales would be very tough.The chewing gum and fruitellas went well especially to American girls with braces on their teeth and clinically obese women.
The Algerian was under pressure due to lack of staff.They are intentionally keeping staffing levels low to maximise profit margins even though we need more staff.
He was unshaven and sweating profusely from his brow.At one point i asked him if he was ok.He'd had a 45 minute conference call probably with head office and i could tell his head was spinning.I have to give him credit because he just keeps it going and holds it down well.A couple of days ago i found out that he is in a relationship with the black BBW whose brother died whilst she was working.Now that is a shocker.
The Algerian is about 5'4 with a beer gut and looks like an associate of Yasser Arafat.She is about 5'0 with a pair of Bristols like Tina Small (ex Sunday Sport model).Put it this way she could bury him between them.
A brief mention must be made of the other Algerians who were introduced to the PLC by The Algerian.They both do the magazines and one of them is very white for an Algerian and suffers from a disturbing tick in his face where he twists his mouth and closes his eyes when he speaks and it happens every 10 seconds.The other one who had already been discussed as the "hardcore" Algerian who always looks asleep, resembles one of the prison guards in Midnight Express.
I was flying and its becoming very obvious to me that i only talk to attractive females aged 18-45.I ignore everyone else,my French is coming along nicely and had been creating a good impression with the Madmoiselles.
Train spotting is alive and well in the UK,we do a roaring trade in the weekly train publications and the stereotypical tarin spotter is changing and younger men with ponytails are getting in on the act.
The GAY mags went very well today and some of the punters present the mags face down so as not to be outed.I always turn them over and make sure when they pay they are in full view of everyone!!
The slim Indian cricketer was in as usual and he is very calm and never gets flustered.The king spent a lot of time with him today and when he has finished with the King he always comes back in and says " Can you do me a favour i need you to do this..."
All the Asians and non English speakers always start off sentences that way.They are our superiors so why are we doing them a favour?
No sign of the Indian boss or Bollywood Princess.The cockney scrubber and i are becoming good work colleagues thanks to my outburst a while back.
Gay boy turned up for the final 2 hours and before he settled into his impressive TPS positioning i made him clear all the rubbish out because the collection hadn't occured.One of my highlights was a man with learning difficulties walk over to the till with a huge Happy Birthday badge on his lapel.I made an effort to engage with him and wished him Happy Birthday.His carer winked at me and whispered thank you.2 hours later he came back because "he loves shopping here" the carer stated.
4pm was here and i walked out into the summer heat.
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