Friday 13th August 6am - 2pm
The first task of the day was to persuade the Sri Lankan cricketer not to send me home at 6.10am.I arrived for work at 6am but was informed that my shift was supposed to be 10am - 4pm.
Not a good start but he was sympathetic to my mistake and allowed me to stay.This meant that we were over staffed and The Algerian wasn't in today which was a result.
I worked with Ginger for a couple of hours and we had a good laugh even though he took time to warm up.
A sweet blonde turned up and requested a Lipsalve at 6.30am.This was a perfect opportunity to work the magic.
"We have 3 flavours which one would you like?" i replied.
"Can you show them to me please" she answered.
I laid out the strawberry,natural,and lemon flavours in front of her.
"Your lips don't look dry in fact they look nice and moist" i countered.
She burst out laughing and started blushing.
"The other thing you will have to consider is the price,that will shock you" i continued.
By this stage she had transformed from a tired looking woman to someone who had been invigorated by laughing.
She purchased the Lemon flavour and smiled at me fondly as she made her way to Paris.
The female Terry Thomas had arrived and i insisted on Ginger waiting around to hear her fake "Hello's".He departed for the big unit and it was Terry Thomas and I with the albino floating around and twitching profusely.
I did a replenishment but made sure that it was very thorough.
I told the King about the mess up with the hours and he was ok with it and requested i work until 2pm.The usual Friday feeling was present,with most of the punters tucking into TPS.
There was a Scotsman who i tried to encourage to purchase a larger bar of Galaxy for an extra 30p.He refused the offer and took it personally that i tried to help him achieve value for money.He commented "that it wasn't the first time he had been away with his family".Strange!!
Terry Thomas kept on going to the toilet to wash her hands every 20 minutes which is very suspicious.
I stayed an extra 20 minutes because of the guilt i felt at turning up for work too early.Have the weekend off.
Friday, 13 August 2010
Thursday, 12 August 2010
Ramadan
Thursday 12th August 2010.6am - 12pm
Spritually refreshed from H & I service,i arrived 30 minutes early and just sat down outside the station watching the sprawling metropolis come to life.
Ramadan started yesterday so both Algerians are partaking and when i saw the Algerian's face at 6.20am i knew this was going to be a tough day.
I held all the punters at bay until 7am,when the albino Algerian with the facial ticks surfaced.
He is a big unit and a smoker so appears to be really suffering with the fasting.
I was feeling resentful towards the Algerian today,maybe its the cultural differences surfacing again.
I volunteered to do the replenishment in order to give the albino a breather due to his lack of solids.Admittedly,it was a sparse list i prepared and it lacked my usual precision.
When i arrived back at the unit the albino took a phone call from the Algerian.The contents of the call are vague but basically he saw me arrive with the cage and it was a "crap pick" according to the albino.
That was it, i was furious at the Algerian telling the albino that it was a "crap pick".When he arrived in the unit he stood in the middle and looked in an exagerated manner at all the shelvesd with an angry look on his face.
"Why don't you be a man and tell me to my face it was a "crap pick" i began.
"Hold on a minute,i am a man and i'm not scared of you" he replied eyeball to eyeball.
We continued outside the unit and i told him that if he has a problem he should speak to me directly not his fellow Arab.
It was now getting personal and i realised i needed to rein this in otherwise i could get sacked on the spot.
"I asked the albino to do the pick and he failed to carry out the instructions.He was asked to do it because you have never done a pick in this unit before" he replied.
"I'm sorry for being rude to you but i didn't know you asked him to do it" i countered sheepishly.
That was that end of story but i was pleased that i stood up for myself because he does bully a lot of staff and i've laid a marker down now.At the same time,i felt him watching me closely for the rest of the shift,looking for ways to have me over.
The cash office rotweiller is back from Bangladesh and he is upto his usual rude tricks like not saying hello when he walks past.The king was interviewing staff this morning who were mainly Asian.I was listening to his interview techniques whilst pretending to work on some stock near his offices.He was coming out with complete bullshit and telling the poor buggers that training is really important to the company.
His assistant is still away but when i was in the office speaking to the King about my hours he was on the phone to her berating her for making a mistake with the rota.
He was calling her "mate".
Rasta boy was late again,they let him cruise in 15 minutes late every day without disciplinary action.
Big day ahead after work to deal with the Lithuanian decorators who i'm worried will shaft me.
Spritually refreshed from H & I service,i arrived 30 minutes early and just sat down outside the station watching the sprawling metropolis come to life.
Ramadan started yesterday so both Algerians are partaking and when i saw the Algerian's face at 6.20am i knew this was going to be a tough day.
I held all the punters at bay until 7am,when the albino Algerian with the facial ticks surfaced.
He is a big unit and a smoker so appears to be really suffering with the fasting.
I was feeling resentful towards the Algerian today,maybe its the cultural differences surfacing again.
I volunteered to do the replenishment in order to give the albino a breather due to his lack of solids.Admittedly,it was a sparse list i prepared and it lacked my usual precision.
When i arrived back at the unit the albino took a phone call from the Algerian.The contents of the call are vague but basically he saw me arrive with the cage and it was a "crap pick" according to the albino.
That was it, i was furious at the Algerian telling the albino that it was a "crap pick".When he arrived in the unit he stood in the middle and looked in an exagerated manner at all the shelvesd with an angry look on his face.
"Why don't you be a man and tell me to my face it was a "crap pick" i began.
"Hold on a minute,i am a man and i'm not scared of you" he replied eyeball to eyeball.
We continued outside the unit and i told him that if he has a problem he should speak to me directly not his fellow Arab.
It was now getting personal and i realised i needed to rein this in otherwise i could get sacked on the spot.
"I asked the albino to do the pick and he failed to carry out the instructions.He was asked to do it because you have never done a pick in this unit before" he replied.
"I'm sorry for being rude to you but i didn't know you asked him to do it" i countered sheepishly.
That was that end of story but i was pleased that i stood up for myself because he does bully a lot of staff and i've laid a marker down now.At the same time,i felt him watching me closely for the rest of the shift,looking for ways to have me over.
The cash office rotweiller is back from Bangladesh and he is upto his usual rude tricks like not saying hello when he walks past.The king was interviewing staff this morning who were mainly Asian.I was listening to his interview techniques whilst pretending to work on some stock near his offices.He was coming out with complete bullshit and telling the poor buggers that training is really important to the company.
His assistant is still away but when i was in the office speaking to the King about my hours he was on the phone to her berating her for making a mistake with the rota.
He was calling her "mate".
Rasta boy was late again,they let him cruise in 15 minutes late every day without disciplinary action.
Big day ahead after work to deal with the Lithuanian decorators who i'm worried will shaft me.
Wednesday, 11 August 2010
Staff shortage again.
Wednesday 11th August 2010.10am-4pm
Trying to arrange decorators whilst working at the PLC isn't an easy task, in fact its exhausting.
The first duties of the day were "break covering".That means i act as a troubleshooter and relieve staff to allow them to take their breaks.
So first up was my favourite unit where i covered the breaks for the French Queen and the Algerian albino with the severe facial ticks.
Business was steady but when they move you around from unit to unit its difficult to build up any momentum and any TPS enthusiasm.
The Algerian asked me if i could stay an extra 2 hours because Fat Indian bird was ill again.Probably a bad back caused by obesity.
Actor Dave was on the books upstairs making his usual "aaarrrgh" noises and i've noticed he also says "yes" all the time.He answers every question and ends every conversation with a "yes".
I gave him a hand which enabled him to complete his book change without working too late.Every Wednesday he finishes late because The Algerian will give him a bollocking if he fails to complete the task.
Finally,i was sent to the big unit where i was with Bollywood for a while.She is definitely going back to university in January to finish her paramedic degree.
She is going to be measured for her uniform and i passed a comment about how nurses uniform is much nicer.She giggled and then started complaining about her feet again.
Its so refreshing to meet a girl who is so green and naive and not well used like a lot of young women seem to be.
The last hour was spent replenishing the tourist section with London keyrings and St George mini football boot keyrings.
Trying to arrange decorators whilst working at the PLC isn't an easy task, in fact its exhausting.
The first duties of the day were "break covering".That means i act as a troubleshooter and relieve staff to allow them to take their breaks.
So first up was my favourite unit where i covered the breaks for the French Queen and the Algerian albino with the severe facial ticks.
Business was steady but when they move you around from unit to unit its difficult to build up any momentum and any TPS enthusiasm.
The Algerian asked me if i could stay an extra 2 hours because Fat Indian bird was ill again.Probably a bad back caused by obesity.
Actor Dave was on the books upstairs making his usual "aaarrrgh" noises and i've noticed he also says "yes" all the time.He answers every question and ends every conversation with a "yes".
I gave him a hand which enabled him to complete his book change without working too late.Every Wednesday he finishes late because The Algerian will give him a bollocking if he fails to complete the task.
Finally,i was sent to the big unit where i was with Bollywood for a while.She is definitely going back to university in January to finish her paramedic degree.
She is going to be measured for her uniform and i passed a comment about how nurses uniform is much nicer.She giggled and then started complaining about her feet again.
Its so refreshing to meet a girl who is so green and naive and not well used like a lot of young women seem to be.
The last hour was spent replenishing the tourist section with London keyrings and St George mini football boot keyrings.
Tuesday, 10 August 2010
The Perfect Business
Tuesday 10th August 2010.10am - 4pm
An unusual start time today but needed the lie in after the 6am starts.
The Algerian is in serious physical pain,his back is crumbling under the stress of the job and excess weight but he still soldiers on for his £7.50/hr.I have been trying to help him by suggesting exercises and strengthening techniques.
I was given a skip of paperbacks to distribute in the small unit.Ginger nut was there and he congratulated me on the writing.He is a budding journalist so i took the compliment as genuine.After that menial task and covering his break i was unleashed in the large unit.
That means cockney scrubber and a fringe member of the Pakistani mafia for company.
The mafioso is clueless,he needs to be told what to do every step of the way.When the tills are quiet he stands there doing nothing.The key to running a tight ship is to utilise quiet moments by tidying up behind the tills,preparing a tobacco order,checking the floats in all tills,ensuring the security register is signed.
I ushered him into the unit and forced him into physical graft.He always brings his own gloves.I took over the tills and was in a TPS mood.It's Galaxy,Skittles and Starbursts this week.They are a good combination for easy sales.The obese punters lap them up,its like giving candy to a baby.
The Algerian revealed to me a shocking fact today.The PLC doesn't pay for 95% of the stock.I have always known that newspapers,magazines and books are on sale or return but at the PLC most products are.In fact the suppliers pay us to stock their products.What an incredible business this is.They don't shell out any cash and just sit back and get fat on the sales.
Last month we made £131,00 net profit in our units.Now i know what they discuss in their management meetings.They had one of those today.Sandy Gall bags,the slim Indian cricketer and The Algerian were present.
A bouncy American girl responded enthusiastically to my, "Hi,how are you?"
"I'm fantastic,how are you?" she replied eagerly.
"Do you fancy a Galaxy with your Vogue" i pressed.
"Yes,why not i've got lots of change to spend" she answered foolishly
"I think you could do with a packet of Skittles and a Starburst" i went for the kill.
She was actually attractive in a strange way.Ample bosom,dark hair,early 20's,big booty and child bearing hips.Her personality was attractive.
She was on her way to Paris for 3 days with a friend.The friend purchased some postcards and unfortunately it looked like they could have been a pair of Dick Van Dykes".
The unusual shift time meant that i overlapped with the evening crew including Rasta boy,the DJ,Bollywood Princess,fat Indian bird.
Fat Indian bird had phoned in ill.The supervisors were concerned that they would be short staffed for a change.Then at 2pm i saw her arrive for work with a walk that resembles a hunchback.She had a bad back probably caused by overeating and lack of exercise.The King failed to call her back earlier in the day and therefore made her feel guilty about taking time off.Furthermore,she soldiered on without knowing that they had already replaced her with a last minute stand in.What did she expect? We're just a number with no meaning.
I spent the last 2 hours replenishing the big unit with drinks and sweets.
Off i went to meet the Lithuanian builders at our new abode.
An unusual start time today but needed the lie in after the 6am starts.
The Algerian is in serious physical pain,his back is crumbling under the stress of the job and excess weight but he still soldiers on for his £7.50/hr.I have been trying to help him by suggesting exercises and strengthening techniques.
I was given a skip of paperbacks to distribute in the small unit.Ginger nut was there and he congratulated me on the writing.He is a budding journalist so i took the compliment as genuine.After that menial task and covering his break i was unleashed in the large unit.
That means cockney scrubber and a fringe member of the Pakistani mafia for company.
The mafioso is clueless,he needs to be told what to do every step of the way.When the tills are quiet he stands there doing nothing.The key to running a tight ship is to utilise quiet moments by tidying up behind the tills,preparing a tobacco order,checking the floats in all tills,ensuring the security register is signed.
I ushered him into the unit and forced him into physical graft.He always brings his own gloves.I took over the tills and was in a TPS mood.It's Galaxy,Skittles and Starbursts this week.They are a good combination for easy sales.The obese punters lap them up,its like giving candy to a baby.
The Algerian revealed to me a shocking fact today.The PLC doesn't pay for 95% of the stock.I have always known that newspapers,magazines and books are on sale or return but at the PLC most products are.In fact the suppliers pay us to stock their products.What an incredible business this is.They don't shell out any cash and just sit back and get fat on the sales.
Last month we made £131,00 net profit in our units.Now i know what they discuss in their management meetings.They had one of those today.Sandy Gall bags,the slim Indian cricketer and The Algerian were present.
A bouncy American girl responded enthusiastically to my, "Hi,how are you?"
"I'm fantastic,how are you?" she replied eagerly.
"Do you fancy a Galaxy with your Vogue" i pressed.
"Yes,why not i've got lots of change to spend" she answered foolishly
"I think you could do with a packet of Skittles and a Starburst" i went for the kill.
She was actually attractive in a strange way.Ample bosom,dark hair,early 20's,big booty and child bearing hips.Her personality was attractive.
She was on her way to Paris for 3 days with a friend.The friend purchased some postcards and unfortunately it looked like they could have been a pair of Dick Van Dykes".
The unusual shift time meant that i overlapped with the evening crew including Rasta boy,the DJ,Bollywood Princess,fat Indian bird.
Fat Indian bird had phoned in ill.The supervisors were concerned that they would be short staffed for a change.Then at 2pm i saw her arrive for work with a walk that resembles a hunchback.She had a bad back probably caused by overeating and lack of exercise.The King failed to call her back earlier in the day and therefore made her feel guilty about taking time off.Furthermore,she soldiered on without knowing that they had already replaced her with a last minute stand in.What did she expect? We're just a number with no meaning.
I spent the last 2 hours replenishing the big unit with drinks and sweets.
Off i went to meet the Lithuanian builders at our new abode.
Monday, 9 August 2010
Crestgate and the US Military
Monday 9th August 2010.6am - 2pm
There are lots of staff away at the moment and somehow i found myself volunteering to "do" the magazines.
That involves cages and serious physical graft.I distributed hundreds of magazines ranging from Vogue to the Investors Chronicle.It was a good opportunity to have a look at the hundreds of titles that the PLC stocks.Every taste is catered for from Tattoo addicts to Wine buffs.
This task took approximately 5 hours and part of the process is to remove the out of date publications.Once the returns are dealt with they have to be boxed up and labelled.
Gay boy was on board with me today in the big unit and he's on the level.
We had a ball today.For an 18 year old kid he is very well read and seems totally different from most teenagers.He watches old shows like Blackadder and is a budding journalist.
The cockney scrubber was also present but she was snowed under with 12 skips of books to distribute.
At around 11.30am the big Pakistani unit who runs the stock room handed us a box of Crest toothpaste.The tubes weren't travel size they were the size you find in Morrison's.Gay boy collapsed in a fit of laughter which lasted 5 minutes.He found the whole stuation very amusing that the PLC sells toothpaste even though Boots is 2 doors away.
He was fascinated by the size of the tubes which could last every holiday for the rest of your life.
The rank curry i consumed at "Curry Asia" last night was repeating on me and i had to run to the WC for a rapid clear out.
Business was steady and time was flying by.
A squat muscular Yank arrived at the till with a Citicorp credit card to settle a £15 bill.
Gay boy tried to process the payment but couldn't do it.He called me in for assistance and even with manual input of the numbers it was "declined".
"I'm from the US military and they have given me an allowance for 3 days of travelling" he said.
"Unfortunately,the card has been declined on several occasions and i suggest you contact the issuing bank" i replied.
As Uncle Sam walked away sheepishly,Gay boy remarked "Is this how the US military treat their soldiers?"
The King was buzzing today and he summoned me for a meeting,my stomach turned over.I thought i had been rumbled.It was a chat to confirm my working hours for the previous 2 weeks.
I finished at 2.05pm and went to meet HID to collect the keys for our new abode.
There are lots of staff away at the moment and somehow i found myself volunteering to "do" the magazines.
That involves cages and serious physical graft.I distributed hundreds of magazines ranging from Vogue to the Investors Chronicle.It was a good opportunity to have a look at the hundreds of titles that the PLC stocks.Every taste is catered for from Tattoo addicts to Wine buffs.
This task took approximately 5 hours and part of the process is to remove the out of date publications.Once the returns are dealt with they have to be boxed up and labelled.
Gay boy was on board with me today in the big unit and he's on the level.
We had a ball today.For an 18 year old kid he is very well read and seems totally different from most teenagers.He watches old shows like Blackadder and is a budding journalist.
The cockney scrubber was also present but she was snowed under with 12 skips of books to distribute.
At around 11.30am the big Pakistani unit who runs the stock room handed us a box of Crest toothpaste.The tubes weren't travel size they were the size you find in Morrison's.Gay boy collapsed in a fit of laughter which lasted 5 minutes.He found the whole stuation very amusing that the PLC sells toothpaste even though Boots is 2 doors away.
He was fascinated by the size of the tubes which could last every holiday for the rest of your life.
The rank curry i consumed at "Curry Asia" last night was repeating on me and i had to run to the WC for a rapid clear out.
Business was steady and time was flying by.
A squat muscular Yank arrived at the till with a Citicorp credit card to settle a £15 bill.
Gay boy tried to process the payment but couldn't do it.He called me in for assistance and even with manual input of the numbers it was "declined".
"I'm from the US military and they have given me an allowance for 3 days of travelling" he said.
"Unfortunately,the card has been declined on several occasions and i suggest you contact the issuing bank" i replied.
As Uncle Sam walked away sheepishly,Gay boy remarked "Is this how the US military treat their soldiers?"
The King was buzzing today and he summoned me for a meeting,my stomach turned over.I thought i had been rumbled.It was a chat to confirm my working hours for the previous 2 weeks.
I finished at 2.05pm and went to meet HID to collect the keys for our new abode.
Friday, 6 August 2010
Teaching Actor Dave
Friday 6th August 2010.6am-2pm
As I entered the station i saw one of the boys pushing a cage full of newspapers and he said "You look younger every time i see you,what's your secret?"
"Lots of exercise,no drinking,no smoking, and lots of sex" i replied.
I was banished to the small unit at 6am where i was joined by: The female Terry Thomas,Slow boy and Actor Dave.
Terry Thomas was only with me for an hour before The Algerian moved her to another unit.Slow boy did his usual thing which was unload the sandwiches and smoothies,prepare a list,go to the stock room,bring the stock back on a standard issue cage and then distribute the products.He returned at 10.18am.
The Friday early morning business was steady but manageable which gave me time to prepare an impressive selection of TPS on my section.
More importantly actor Dave was with me for the first time since i began work at the PLC.
We discussed several important subjects such as,French women,fake tan,sun beds,single English women and obesity.
When one has the pleasure of working with slow boy and actor Dave one has to have patience and tolerance because they haven't got a brain cell between them.
Once again the actor was making "arrrgh" noises when faced with tricky punters and under pressure.In all the time i have been at the PLC i haven't seen him have one conversation with a female.
He told me that he maybe moving back to Norwich with his parents soon which is where he was born.
"How long have you been working here?" i asked the actor.
"3 years in October" he answered.
"You need to get out mate and move on with the rest of your life" i countered
"Aaarrgh" he grunted.
I intentionally tried very hard today to try and help the actor learn how to engage in conversations with members of the opposite sex.
I told him that if i was single and much younger i would be in utopia.The sheer volume of females that we meet every day,albeit for a short time,would result in at least a few dates.
I showed him the way and told him to look at their wedding ring fingers and assess the shop to see if their is a boyfriend/husband hovering in the unit.
Ensure that you greet them with "Hello,how are you today?" or "Bonjour,comment allez vous?".Of course the French greeting can only happen if you are certain they are le Francais.
"Once the ice has been broken you can then ask them whether they are travelling or on their way to work.If they are still talking at this stage then you're in with a chance" i explained.
It must have worked because a miracle took place,within 2 hours he was talking to women for the first time in his life.I sense of fatherly pride engulfed me.
On Friday's the Algerian loses the plot.He has worked so hard all week and by the time we reach the end of the week he becomes increasingly abusive to the staff.
He went on the Tills today which was a fisrt and i had a good laugh watching him trying to show us how to undertake successful TPS with an Algerian accent and 4 days growth.
He knew i was taking the piss out of him but he was in a different world by now.They called me back into the big unit for a final 2 hour blitz.It was manic,the King was even behind a till at one point dealing with a problem.He may be incredibly rude but he is very calm under pressure and deals with problems methodically.
2pm was here and off i went passing the evening crew and exchanging brief pleasantries.
The mobile went at 5.35pm and it was the King "Hi,i was hoping to catch up with you after your shift.You know how you always work Saturday's but you're not down to work this Saturday can you work tomorrow?" he requested.
"I've made plans already sorry i can't help you" I replied.
The King only talks to us if he wants something,that's his management style.
As I entered the station i saw one of the boys pushing a cage full of newspapers and he said "You look younger every time i see you,what's your secret?"
"Lots of exercise,no drinking,no smoking, and lots of sex" i replied.
I was banished to the small unit at 6am where i was joined by: The female Terry Thomas,Slow boy and Actor Dave.
Terry Thomas was only with me for an hour before The Algerian moved her to another unit.Slow boy did his usual thing which was unload the sandwiches and smoothies,prepare a list,go to the stock room,bring the stock back on a standard issue cage and then distribute the products.He returned at 10.18am.
The Friday early morning business was steady but manageable which gave me time to prepare an impressive selection of TPS on my section.
More importantly actor Dave was with me for the first time since i began work at the PLC.
We discussed several important subjects such as,French women,fake tan,sun beds,single English women and obesity.
When one has the pleasure of working with slow boy and actor Dave one has to have patience and tolerance because they haven't got a brain cell between them.
Once again the actor was making "arrrgh" noises when faced with tricky punters and under pressure.In all the time i have been at the PLC i haven't seen him have one conversation with a female.
He told me that he maybe moving back to Norwich with his parents soon which is where he was born.
"How long have you been working here?" i asked the actor.
"3 years in October" he answered.
"You need to get out mate and move on with the rest of your life" i countered
"Aaarrgh" he grunted.
I intentionally tried very hard today to try and help the actor learn how to engage in conversations with members of the opposite sex.
I told him that if i was single and much younger i would be in utopia.The sheer volume of females that we meet every day,albeit for a short time,would result in at least a few dates.
I showed him the way and told him to look at their wedding ring fingers and assess the shop to see if their is a boyfriend/husband hovering in the unit.
Ensure that you greet them with "Hello,how are you today?" or "Bonjour,comment allez vous?".Of course the French greeting can only happen if you are certain they are le Francais.
"Once the ice has been broken you can then ask them whether they are travelling or on their way to work.If they are still talking at this stage then you're in with a chance" i explained.
It must have worked because a miracle took place,within 2 hours he was talking to women for the first time in his life.I sense of fatherly pride engulfed me.
On Friday's the Algerian loses the plot.He has worked so hard all week and by the time we reach the end of the week he becomes increasingly abusive to the staff.
He went on the Tills today which was a fisrt and i had a good laugh watching him trying to show us how to undertake successful TPS with an Algerian accent and 4 days growth.
He knew i was taking the piss out of him but he was in a different world by now.They called me back into the big unit for a final 2 hour blitz.It was manic,the King was even behind a till at one point dealing with a problem.He may be incredibly rude but he is very calm under pressure and deals with problems methodically.
2pm was here and off i went passing the evening crew and exchanging brief pleasantries.
The mobile went at 5.35pm and it was the King "Hi,i was hoping to catch up with you after your shift.You know how you always work Saturday's but you're not down to work this Saturday can you work tomorrow?" he requested.
"I've made plans already sorry i can't help you" I replied.
The King only talks to us if he wants something,that's his management style.
Thursday, 5 August 2010
Slow boy and TPS
Thursday 5th August 2010.6am - 2pm
6 hours sleep,alarm at 4.45am and arrived at 5.50am.Starbucks was already open, so had a warm "hot" chocolate and asked the Sri Lankan cricketer if i could work anywhere but the upstairs unit.
My wishes were granted and I joined the thick Somalian at 6am.He disappeared to complete the paper distribution and i was left to hold the fort.
I was on fire today and I needed to be.The phone went at 7.30am and it was the Algerian,"Your TPS was very poor mate only 1.1%" he said.
"I only had mint Aero's to sell,no £1 stickers and no-one buys chocolate at 6am" i replied.
A silence took place and the phone call was terminated abruptly.
The TPS was buzzing,the promotions were Skittles,Starbursts,all flavours of Galaxy and some dodgy chewing gum.
The quality of the women were exceptional today.Most of them were going to Paris with their partners but that didn't hold me back.I look at their fingers for wedding rings and plan my attack accordingly.
There was a very attractive English woman of about 30 who was smiling at me in the queue and that's like a red rag to a bull for me.I immediately collared her and she was off to visit her parents at their farm in Northampton on her own.
Its sad that we have the highest proportion of single over 30's in Europe.Lots of the female punters are happy going away with their girlfriends and don't even seem interested in finding a boyfriend.Of course i am carrying out vital research in the name of improving our society.
By now slow boy was on the scene talking complete gibberish as usual.The amount of time he takes to complete the replinishment process is ridiculous.
The process invloves making a thorough list of items required and then going to the stock room and filling a cage with the items.He then has to wheel the cage back to our unit and distribute the items in the correct positions.He may also have to insert new price slips under the products on the shelves.Whilst all this is going on he may have to jump onto a till to assist me with thirsty news hungry punters.
The Daily Mail readers are interesting because they are all the same age and have the same colour hair and even dress the same.
The English trolley dolly with French Glamour appeared out of nowhere,it was like a phoenix rising from the ashes.
She had purple nail varnish and was looking as dirty as she had all those weeks ago.
"Long time no see,where have you been?" i started.
"They sent me to Ashford but i'm back now,have you missed me?" she replied with a toothy grin and a husky voice.
"Are you back here for good?" i enquired.
"Yes, and i'm working a 12 hour shift today" she continued
"Where do you live?" i asked.
"Wood Green and you?" she answered
"I live close to here...." i said.
Off she went with her cigarettes and Lipton Iced Tea.
Rasta boy arrived at 12 and i haven't worked with him for ages.He is becoming increasingly lazy and slapdash in his work.He needs to find direction because he's going nowhere fast.We had a laugh and he said,"The only 2 people i like working with are you and the Romeo,you guys crack me up innit".
He is 26 and living at home and has no hope of getting his won place and this is beginning to affect his state of mind.
Some impressive flirting took place in the lunchtime session including a large blonde female from Leeds in her early 20's.I've noticed with all these large women that they have pleasant boat races and if they lost a few stone in weight they would have men falling over themselves.
I tidied up the whole back area behind the tills even though i know within 2 days it will be untidy again.The Algerian started calling me "The Englishman" again and kept on telling me i looked tired.
Its a fair point,i'm not used to these early shifts.The fat Indian bird is leaving at the end of the month to go back to India.She's completed her MBA and her Dad has arranged an interview with a global shipping company.Good luck to her i thought and walked off via the shop that the flat chested blonde works in.
6 hours sleep,alarm at 4.45am and arrived at 5.50am.Starbucks was already open, so had a warm "hot" chocolate and asked the Sri Lankan cricketer if i could work anywhere but the upstairs unit.
My wishes were granted and I joined the thick Somalian at 6am.He disappeared to complete the paper distribution and i was left to hold the fort.
I was on fire today and I needed to be.The phone went at 7.30am and it was the Algerian,"Your TPS was very poor mate only 1.1%" he said.
"I only had mint Aero's to sell,no £1 stickers and no-one buys chocolate at 6am" i replied.
A silence took place and the phone call was terminated abruptly.
The TPS was buzzing,the promotions were Skittles,Starbursts,all flavours of Galaxy and some dodgy chewing gum.
The quality of the women were exceptional today.Most of them were going to Paris with their partners but that didn't hold me back.I look at their fingers for wedding rings and plan my attack accordingly.
There was a very attractive English woman of about 30 who was smiling at me in the queue and that's like a red rag to a bull for me.I immediately collared her and she was off to visit her parents at their farm in Northampton on her own.
Its sad that we have the highest proportion of single over 30's in Europe.Lots of the female punters are happy going away with their girlfriends and don't even seem interested in finding a boyfriend.Of course i am carrying out vital research in the name of improving our society.
By now slow boy was on the scene talking complete gibberish as usual.The amount of time he takes to complete the replinishment process is ridiculous.
The process invloves making a thorough list of items required and then going to the stock room and filling a cage with the items.He then has to wheel the cage back to our unit and distribute the items in the correct positions.He may also have to insert new price slips under the products on the shelves.Whilst all this is going on he may have to jump onto a till to assist me with thirsty news hungry punters.
The Daily Mail readers are interesting because they are all the same age and have the same colour hair and even dress the same.
The English trolley dolly with French Glamour appeared out of nowhere,it was like a phoenix rising from the ashes.
She had purple nail varnish and was looking as dirty as she had all those weeks ago.
"Long time no see,where have you been?" i started.
"They sent me to Ashford but i'm back now,have you missed me?" she replied with a toothy grin and a husky voice.
"Are you back here for good?" i enquired.
"Yes, and i'm working a 12 hour shift today" she continued
"Where do you live?" i asked.
"Wood Green and you?" she answered
"I live close to here...." i said.
Off she went with her cigarettes and Lipton Iced Tea.
Rasta boy arrived at 12 and i haven't worked with him for ages.He is becoming increasingly lazy and slapdash in his work.He needs to find direction because he's going nowhere fast.We had a laugh and he said,"The only 2 people i like working with are you and the Romeo,you guys crack me up innit".
He is 26 and living at home and has no hope of getting his won place and this is beginning to affect his state of mind.
Some impressive flirting took place in the lunchtime session including a large blonde female from Leeds in her early 20's.I've noticed with all these large women that they have pleasant boat races and if they lost a few stone in weight they would have men falling over themselves.
I tidied up the whole back area behind the tills even though i know within 2 days it will be untidy again.The Algerian started calling me "The Englishman" again and kept on telling me i looked tired.
Its a fair point,i'm not used to these early shifts.The fat Indian bird is leaving at the end of the month to go back to India.She's completed her MBA and her Dad has arranged an interview with a global shipping company.Good luck to her i thought and walked off via the shop that the flat chested blonde works in.
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