Friday mayhem

Friday 25th June 2010 8am - 4pm

As i have Thursday's off i feel reasonably refreshed and you need to be in order to deal with Friday's in the height of summer with all the kids breaking up from school.

There are different morning staff on Sundays no French queen and no long serving Somalian.I was with the bloke who was bollocked by The Algerian in front of all the staff for not wearing the correct attire.

The Algerian is very resentful of The Sun newspaper for apparently claiming that England would win all 3 group games easily and confronted me on that point.

He is a very aggressive character with no people skills and absolutely no idea how to communicate with people apart from using the words "innit" and "mate".

"Don't worry i'll be supporting England on Sunday mate i live here innit" he shouted.
"I should hope you are mate this country has given you everything you have" I replied.
That kept him quiet for 5 minutes.
I'm beginning to know most of the staff now but also realise that there is a continuous turnover of staff as well.
The afternoon was spent with a very pleasant Indian woman who has a weird technique on the TPS,"Anything for a quid" she mumbles in a thick Indian accent.She was very proud when a customer showed her a rupee she had.She has stuck it out for 18 months but only works 3 days a week.

My good friend arrived as usual at 2pm and she thinks she has roped me into fridge temperature duties,"If you think i'm doing this every day then think again" i told her.She smiled sheepishly,I've noticed that when you've been there a month it gives you a power to start telling people what to do.

I have tried for 4 days to get some very important information for tax credits from the King's assistant and she keeps on fobbing me off.Today,i confronted her and said "I need this information asap lets just get it out of the way" she covered her breasts with her arms as usual and finally assisted me.

Sandy Gall bags was in and wasn't her normal chirpy self,"Why is there no stock,The Algerian should have dealt with it?"
"Its ok i've done a drinks and tobacco order" I replied proudly.
"What about the magazines?" she countered.
"Don't know how to do that" i replied pathetically.

She made me sign a disclaimer that confirms she has informed me about a new deal taking place on Monday.It sounds complicated.

Saturday 26th June 2010.2pm-10pm

The Graveyard shift.Fresh from coaching 7 year old kids who can't pass a ball with the instep i arrived with my egg sandwiches and over ripe nectarine.The slim Indian was there together with the Polish Muslim and Somalian security (my new best friend).

Finally,i had an opportunity to work with gay boy.We had a ball he has this fantastic techinique on TPS where he positions the products at the front of the counter so its righ in front of their noses.One of the Asian lads was chuffed because he's been promoted to evening supervisor just for tonight.Same money of course but gets to tell us our break times and wears a grey shirt,happy days!!

The punters were arriving at the till with red faces,burnt shoulders and sweating golf balls,that's the English of course.

An event happened that i'd never seen before even working in a drug rehabilitation centre.A fraulein entered the unit frantically and requested a Die Welt newspaper.When i told her we had one the blood drained from her pizza face.
She strode upto the counter getting more and more emotional."Are you looking for a specific article" i enquired
"Yes i am" as she was tearing the paper apart.
As she found the article she broke down hysterically at the till.
"Is he very important in your life?" i ventured.
"Yes" she replied.
"Did you want to marry him" i dug even more.
"Yes but he's married already" she accepted.

She had been to every station in Central London and we had it and i felt honoured to have witnessed her emotions.
The women were very revealing in the heat.
At 8pm i was left on my own and the slim Indian came in for a chat with her pointy chin and small pert boobs.She's just completed a degree in business studies and lives at home with her parents.Sweet girl who gets her Dad to collect after her weekend shifts.

The serious Indian supervisor tried to tell me his theory about English football and i told him that if he feels so strongly about it he should go and watch grassroots football and see how bad most coaching is in this country.Then he'll understand why we'll never win a major tournament.

He lost the plot at 9.53pm because gay boy and Russell hadn't picked up 2 bags of rubbish 7 minutes before the end of their shift.