Tuesday, 22 June 2010

The Visit Part 2

Tuesday 22nd June 2010.8am - 4pm

Collared by the Algerian as soon as I arrived,"your TPS was very poor yesterday mate".
Fair game i thought,i was son knackered yesterday i couldn't be bothered to put on the robot act and as a result i came 3rd from bottom on the results table.So,i made a decision to crack on and prove that i am a good seller of sweets and chocolate.

The long serving Somalian is the most depressing person i have ever worked with.He spends the entire shift criticising the company and the lack of stock.I asked him if he'd had TPS warnings,because he never opens his mouth,he replied in the affirmative.
He's unshaven and always tired and what happened when i arrived?

Yep over for a mince with the French queen who might not be a queen.I have caught him staring at women's bottoms and winking at me.I'm still unsure about what side he bats for.

In this weather it is very difficult to concentrate fully on the job because of the amount of Bristol's on show.All shapes and sizes and when i am taking there money all i do is stare at their chests,this could be a problem because its so obvious.
I've even found myself chatting up 50 year old married women with large Bristol's.

Surprise surprise,"There is the area manager coming today don't leave any gaps on the cigarette display."
These visits create unbelievable tension because the fear feeds down through the hierarchy and we bear the brunt of it.The Algerian is a nutter,there are times when he has so many things going through his brain he goes into overload mode and closes his eyes and tightens his mouth.

There was some anti American and Israeli comments made by the other members of the Algerian contingent who all seem to be called Ali.I nearly rose to the bait but held it down at the last second.They have inferiority complexes,one of the Algerian Ali's has an unfortunate twitch involving his eyes and mouth.

By the afternoon i was flying with the TPS and had done a good trade in Fruitellas bit too hot for chocolate but of course the management don't care about that.

Just after lunch the overweight manager in the ill fitting suit turned up with the KIng and another bloke,who i later found out was the main man in London.The overweight penguin winked at me i turned on the charm at the till and raised my voice a couple of octaves to get the point across.

Sold another couple of dirty mags today i try and have a quick glimpse of the cover whilst pretending i can't find the bar code to scan.We also do a reasonable trade in gay magazines,the latest one has 2 blokes on the front with the title "Farm Boys",the mind boggles!!

Fat Indian bird turned up and was sweating like a rapist,her brown was dripping and her moustache was glistening under the lights.The hot weather isn't good for a woman in her physical condition,but i do like her.She showed me how to take the temperature in the fridge which was easy.

I waved goodbye to her at 4pm as the two next employees made their way into the madness.

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