Tuesday, 29 June 2010

The William Gallas Saga

Tuesday 29th June 2010.8am - 4pm

8.20pm the phone rang in the small unit."How many staff are there at the moment mate?" the Algerian had spoken.
"Too many" i replied manipulatively.

Ok go to the other unit please,the first part of the plan had worked.Get myself into the big unit so i can work with the Asian babe later.
I joined the Legend at the till and today's theory was,"If i win the lottery i will buy my own club and sack all the players" he said.
"Who would you play instead?" i enquired.
"Fill the team with hungry youngsters,they'll do the business" he replied with certainty.

He makes ridiculous jokes with the punters to try and get them to buy the TPS.
"Its pay day tomorrow i will buy up all the chocolate so save some for me" he attempted.
I have noticed how he gives a sly look to female bottoms when they turn and walk away from the till.The cockney scrubber,since the incident,is very friendly but still piss ignorant.

The King's assistant gave me the information i have been waiting a week for and i sorted out next weeks hours because i've got lots of other stuff going on.

A flashily dressed black man strolled up to the till wearing a £25,000 Breitling and one of those high fashion T shirts.
"20 Marlboro Lights please" he requested.
I knew he looked like William but couldn't be sure.His face is more pockmarked than Manuel Noriega and Nico Claesen.He pulled out a large footballers wad and paid with a crisp tenner.
The next punter remarked that the previous bloke looked like a French footballer and found £30 on the counter.

The punter gave me the money and i left it on the till.My mind started playing tricks with me like it used to back in the day when my behaviour was defective.
That money would come in useful,i thought.
When the legend finished i pocketed the cash and totally forgot about the CCTV!!

2pm Asian babe appeared and looked a little bit under the weather,"How are you today" i enquired.
She was wearing a black dress with a tight large buckled balck belt and i reckon is totally unaware of how attractive she is.
"I've got a belly ache" she said.
"is it something you have eaten"
"No" she replied
"Women's stuff" i ventured
"Yes" she continued.
"Time of the month is it,you know Holland and Barrett do starflower and agnes castus which is very good" i said.
We then had an exchange about PMT and how it affects her.How we started having a chat about her PMT after knowing each other for about 4 hours was weird.

I made a decision that i would hand over £20 and keep £10,therfore putting the whole job at risk over a tenner.
The management all disappeared for a meeting and when Sandy Gall bags appeared i gave her the £20 and told her the story behind it.However,she noticed i had another note in my pocket.

10 mins later the slim Indian cricketer called me into the staff room for a chat.
"What else have you got in your pocket" he squirmed.
I felt my mouth going dry and my eyes darting from side to side.
"I have £10 of my own money" i stammered
"Do you know that you aren't allowed to carry any money on your person" he continued.
"I had no idea that was company policy" i lied.

He wrote out a file note in poorly spelt English which i signed.
That was too close for comfort.The wind had been knocked out of my sails and I continued the rest of my shift very sheepishly.

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