Tuesday, 12 October 2010

Northern Women

Tuesday 12th October 2010.6am-12pm

The slow Somalian was praying to Allah again on his magic carpet in the filthy staff room.Its a strange sight but i do respect the bloke for following his faith.

I knew it would be all hands to the pump because of the area manager visit.Its a doddle now,no fear and no test of my intellectuality.The queen was despatched to the busy unit because Clarice Starling is away this week.

The Algerian worked me like a dog but i like hard work it makes the shift go quicker.
I have decided that i will take one of the permanent positions available which is potentially Mon-Wed 2pm-10pm.Its only 3 days a week but more importantly it enables me to check out the evening staff especially the Slovakian sex bomb.

I was unloading my third cage of the morning when i heard,"fuckin knobs" in a Mancunian female accent.
"Who are the knobs" i enquired.
She was a well worn lass of about 35 with platted hair.The sort of woman who probably still goes out raving and pops pills.

"The knobs are my mates from Manchester" she replied.
"Where have you been on holiday?" i asked spotting lots of suitcases.
"Barbados,what do you think of my sun tan?" the raver continued
"I never saw you before your holiday"
"Do you want to look at my white lines,or will you blush?" she teased
"Lets have a look and i won't blush"

She then proceeded to push her reasonably shaped breasts out of her tight top and showed me her white bikini line.Unfortunately,her mother appeared and the fun was over.

The Algerian suggested i apply for the supervisors role.I told him that when i look at him every day i know that its not where i want to be going with my life.

The Imman's assistant promised me that we would sign the new contract but needless to say she put me off until later in the week.

The big Indian unit is sweating on a new contract and is trying to facilitate this by getting his cousin,the slim Indian cricketer, and the rotweiller to tell the Imman to give him a contract.

I politely told the big unit to approach the Imman himself and just deal with it like a man instead of relying on those 2 shmendricks (yiddish for wet behind the ears).Its very interesting observing how the fear paralyses the Asians even though they are dealing with their own kind.

I glimpsed the flat chested blonde coming out of our unit and managed to say "Hello,how are you?"
"Not bad" she replied.
Maybe,she is now on a different shift but she is gorgeous especially when she wears tight jeans and suede pixie boots.

My consultancy meeting at 4pm went well so watch this space.

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