The Albino

Monday 22nd November 2010.2pm-10pm

The temperature has plummeted inside the station and i feel that my health is getting affected.I have another wheezy cough and a snot laden nose.

As usual under the Sandy Gall shift,we gather in the staff room which is getting dirtier by the day,and she gives instructions for the forthcoming shift.

I was please to be working with the Albino because even though he could border on anti semitic he's actually up for a giggle with the ladies.One of the new Asians phoned in ill and the amount of staff taking sick leave must be above the national average.The Rotweiller has signed off for 2 weeks with a bad back which has caused a great deal of speculation.

Also,the large Pakistani unit has just returned after a week off with bed bugs.He moved into a new flat in Ilford with his wife and new born baby and they developed rashes cause by old and filthy mattresses.I gave him a quick low down on the solution which is to turn and hoover the mattress every 2 weeks.He was grateful for this.

The shift went well because we played games with each other in terms of communicating with the women.The Albino is a huge lump with an unfortunate facial tick but that doesn't stop him trying to pull the women.He thought he was in with a skinny French nanny of about 25 with long black hair.She came in with the kid,a precocious French brat,about 4 times in the space of 15 minutes.She looked slightly weird almost like Viscount Spencer's first wife who was an anorexic drug addict.

My cough was getting worse as the evening progressed but it was soothed by consuming large quantities of damaged jelly babies and chocolate buttons.I was sharing a locker with BBBW so had her handbag in my locker.I was thinking of rifling through her handbag and planting a fake mobile phone number in it to see if she responds in an affirmative manner.

Sandy Gall bags was also unwell and claimed that she vomited before her shift started.She is either stupid or a trooper,its probably a but of both.The Slovak had to take the day off because her and her flat mates had been stung by a con artist pretending to be a landlord.He took the money off them and legged it.The next they knew was when they were served an eviction notice.Its a classic case of someone who give it large but actually is very dim but nevertheless its a naughty thing to do but a very easy scam to implement.