Sunday, 4 July 2010

Algerian sadness

Saturday 3rd July 2010.8am - 4pm

A glorious sunny morning as I arrived for another shift at the PLC.
Before i entered the unit I soaked up some early morning sunshine and saw the Algerian hardcore walking towards me looking depressed.

"I'm getting divorced and sending her back to Algeria,I can't stand it anymore" he muttered.
"Sorry to hear that" as i put my arm on his shoulder and consoled him.

He continued by telling me how the relationship has broken down and fortunately they don't have any kids.
I explained my experience and suggested that he sees his GP and gets a referral for some couples therapy.He was very grateful and told me he had to see the King and apologise for being late yesterday.He starts his shift at 2am!!
Greeted by yet another Asian supervisor i;m beginning to think that the employment policy is in breach of equal opportunities.Where are all the whites? Is it because the job is too menial for the microwave generation?

The first hour was spent covering breaks for the early lads and i settled into a shift at the big unit.I'm beginning to enjoy this because its such a challenge not stooping to the level of mediocrity around me.The king was in today and The Algerian was in as well.Apparently they work one weekend in 6.

The lower class Indian was with me for a couple of hours.Her English is shocking but she has developed a public school accent only for greeting the customers, "Hello" she says in a clipped accent with a hint of Frankie Howerd.

She is also a control freak who keeps on telling me what to do.I ignore her and carry on with what i do best which is sell sell sell.
The weekend punters are very friendly and i can take the piss out of them more without them noticing.I mistakenly spoke French to two seperate frauleins and they found it very amusing.

I was banking on the Bollywood Princess working today but i've got a feeling she may have left already.There are so many staff its difficult to know who will be there from one day to the next.

Once again i have been proved wrong about the sexuality of one of the staff.I took lunch whilst sitting on the steps outside the station and i bumped into white gay boy sitting with a very attractive young girl with braces on her teeth.
"This is my girlfriend xxxx" he said
"Hi pleased to meet you" i replied in shock.

Had some fun with slow boy.He is very impressed with the way i engage the punters and then suck them into buying unhealthy promotions.He reckons i've got the "gift of the gab".

One of the females offered me a free T shirt from Elle magazine for my girlfriend,i politely refused and told her that i'm married.Its very important to remain honest because it would be very busy to create an illusion in order to fulfill my fantasies.

At approximately 2pm yet another Asian boy turned up who looked like he'd stepped straight off a Noel Clarke film set.They gave him 10 minutes till training and then one of the rotund weekend supervisors threw him to the wolves and said "Any problems speak to Jerome he's experienced "
So after,5 weeks i'm now regarded as an old hand capable of imparting my considerable knowledge onto a yound Asian from Forest Gate.

The King was impressed with me today because i solved a problem with one of their promotions.The gift cards weren't being swiped correctly because of a software glitch.
"Are you manging to do the promotion" he barked.
"If we input the numbers manually it works" i replied proudly
"Good,let all the other units know that if there is a problem to input the numbers manually" he ordered.

So,do i try and get promoted and see how far i can get in the hierarchy?

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