Monday, 12 July 2010

The truth about the Bollywood Princess

Monday 12th July 2010.9am-4pm

After oversleeping courtesy of cricket in the sun and the football i just made it on time.The new hours maybe a way of gradually reducing my wages and i have to speak to the King's assistant later.

The Algerian has had a short haircut and i paid him a compliment which he enjoyed.A short while later he asked me if i really liked his haircut,"it suits you and its ideal for the hot weather" i told him.

The good news is that i am with the Legend all day.The pace was frenetic and as usual we are short staffed.The Algerian with the facial tick was on the till when i assumed my position,that's how short staffed we are.

"Leave it to the A team" i chortled
"Be careful with that till it's frozen a couple of times this morning" he responded.

I knew today was an ideal opportunity to find out what makes the Legend tick.He was based at a well known chain of pizza restaurants in Loughton for 13 years so i asked him if there were any interesting stories to tell me.He's going into Hospital in 2 weeks to have a shoulder operation.He is having some bone grafted onto his shoulder which was caused by being hit by a car whilst cycling to work a couple of years ago.

"All of the delivery blokes were high on drugs and alcohol when they worked and the manager liked a snort and a puff" he continued.

"One of the girls was the daughter of a high ranking policeman so when she was caught with lots of drugs in a local night club she ended up doing 120 hours community service" he said whilst salivating.

The jokes were flowing as usual and today he said to a female punter who handed over a £10 note to pay for a newspaper,"Do you want me to break your legs or kill you first".This was his dark state of mind created by a rapidly diminishing float.

The Algerian was under severe pressure and he even said "I don't know what to do i can't think properly".
I worry about him and hope he can keep it all together.

The Legend left me on my own in the big unit to deal with the lunchtime trade.He refused to stay an extra hour because he knew he wouldn't get paid for it.
I battled on and rose to the occasion.

I knew Bollywood Princess and the fat controller would appear at 2pm and bail me out of the mess.

I got down to the bottom line with the Bollywood Princess and i established the following information.

She will only marry a Sikh of the same caste which is upper class caste.Her parents told her that she musn't have a boyfriend before she gets married.She has been dating a Sikh male for 3 months who is a business graduate.Her parents don't know about him and according to the princess he is "marriage material".
The final piece of info is that her 1st cousin is the biggest Indian singer in the world right now!!
She went to Birmingham for the weekend where he palyed along with the 50 biggest Bangra performers.I have requested some sample CD's from her.

There was a fun blonde from Hull with braces who engaged in pointless chat for a couple of minutes.I was only entitled to a 20 minute break because i was working a 7 hour shift.

I finished my shift and went to see the King's assistant,"I can't work Sunday's and why have you trimmed my weekday hours by an hour a day" i demanded
"Ok does that mean you can't work any Sundays?" she asked
"That's right" i answered.
"We've found some more money for staffing levels so do you want to go back to your regular hours and have another shift this week" she asked.
"Yes that's fine" i replied.

The bad news is that The Algerian hardcore who was getting divorced had his employment terminated last week.According the large Indian unit he wasn't scanning in the magazines properly and was costing the PLC too much money.

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