Saturday, 31 July 2010

Anaemia,Tax Rebates and the female Terry Thomas

Friday 31st July 2010.6am-2pm

On the back of 5 hours sleep it was once more unto the breach my dear friends.
The Algerian was coming in later which means that we could get on with soild hard graft without the pocket battleship treating us like infants.

The DJ had started at 5am and was distributing the newspapers.I opened the unit on time at 6am.The Sri Lankan night supervisor who starts at 2am called at 6.20am to check up and said "I can always rely on you to get the shop open".

I felt a great sense of pride.Friday's are always very busy especially the early trains and once again i was taking the piss out of the bleary eyed punters who didn't know waht day it was.

My performance has been very poor on the TPS recently which is down to the fact that they can't actually sack you for poor TPS.They could choose to terminate the contract after the probationary period but i have a fixed term contract.

I was joined at 7am by the female Pakistani Terry Thomas.This is the lady who has created a fake Terry Thomas style "Hello" to engage the punters and she was attempting her usual angle which is forcing punters to move chocolate brands.For example if someone brings a Snickers Duo to the till she will try and move thme onto the TPS chocolate on that day.It rarely works.

She is ok and likes to work in a tidy manner.We overhauled the entire unit and threw away lots of items that lazy members of staff have just shoved in cupboards.It amazes me that 90% of the staff don't have any pride in the workplace but we did a damn fine job today.The stock cupboards were emptied and we felt better about ourselves.We also had a "find" which we exchanged at a local Bureau de Change.It made the day taste more sweet.

Terry Thomas is married with 1 kid and suffers from anaemia.Apparently,she collapsed on the shop floor last week and the PLC had no procedures in place.She has tried to get a "sick note" from her GP but because the anaemia is a long standing condition she couldn't get a letter.I suggested that maybe this isn't a suitable job what about a till job at Tesco's or Sainsbury's but her reply was, "I'm scared to leave this job in case i can't get another one" with a resigned look on her face.

The flat chested blonde appeared,i hadn't seen her for a few days,"Its unusual to see you in this unit,are you following me around" i ventured
"Its funny isn't it maybe its fate" she replied suggestively.
"Are you working the weekend?" she continued
"I'm working a late tomorrow night" i answered
"That's not too bad,but a 10pm finish may affect your Saturday night out" she purred.

Little does she know that i haven't been out on a Saturday night for years because i'm married with 2 young sprogs.

Terry Thomas and I knocked actor Dave into shape by getting him to do a pick and mix so by the time the Algerian arrived the unit was in good shape.He doesn't look well and still reckons he's going to join my football team and lose weight in a boot camp.He's deluded,which is probably from working here too long.

It was pay day and i got my hours from the previous month so it was a reasonable amount and i recieved a tax rebate from last month.Slow boy had a spring in his step because he received 4 months worth of tax rebate which he had been talking about every day since i started work at the PLC.Fat Indian bird also received her rebate but is worried because her payslip refers to her as Mrs not Miss.

The TPS went ok because on Friday's women treat themselves to unhealthy food because its the weekend.I clocked this and used it as a selling angle when comunicating with well heeled business women.

We also have something called "bounceback" vouchers which are discounted vouchers that companies pay the PLC to distribute to customers at the till.We are marked on this because the vouchers are scanned and given to all customers.I achieved 100% on Thursday,anything lower than 97% is considered a failure.

Another shift complete and onwards to tomorrow.

Sany Gall bags

No comments:

Post a Comment