"Hi ya" and manners.

Wednesday 4th August 2010.6am - 2pm

Back on the early shift after a splendid game of cricket in deepest Essex yesterday washed down in the local pub with a steak and a victory in the pub quiz.

Before i had time to settle down Gay Boy was sharing his weekend's drug taking experiences at an illegal rave in Boston Manor.

It brought back memories of when it all started in 1989.He took acid for the first time at the rave and came to work still tripping.I related to that.

I had an hour with the French queen and was feeling the effects of 4 hours sleep.I decided to play a game today.A game to see how well mannered people are on a Monday morning at 6am.

The proliferation of personal stereos and IPods has destroyed conversation in public places.

There was an elderly woman who purchased the Guardian.I did my usual "hello,how are you today?" and at first there was no response.I tried again and still no response,maybe she was mutton Geoff.On the third go she grunted "hello" and slapped the money on the counter and walked off looking very angry.

I have established that i must be less confrontational early in the morning because most punters are still recovering from the weekend's frivolities.However,there are punters who are bang on the money from 6am.They are smartly dressed and completely focused on the day ahead and are alert enough to talk.

I was summoned to go to the small unit,which everyone detests.The Algerian had very slyly moved his albino mate downstairs and shoved me into the isolated unit.He probably got the Albino his job but its still unfair.

I was bored out of my mind,and that combined with tiredness was a real struggle.The portly Sri Lankan night supervisor talked cricket with me in between the gaps in business.

I have noticed that nearly all English women of a certain class always say "Hi ya".
My mother in law also says it and it has to be the most annoying expression i've come across.

The offenders are normally women aged between 18 and 35 and probably come from the North of England.They aren't lookers and would be classified as lower-middle class.

As i was leaving i met Bollywood coming out of the female toilets wearing a very fetching standard issue pink T shirt.She was concerned that it didn't suit her but i re-assured her that it showed off her great figure.She smiled and went red.

The cockney scrubber had stupidly volunteered to complete the book change over before she left and the King had given her 2 more skips to deal with.

When i left the unit she was cursing under her breath and her hair had fallen all over her face.