Thursday, 5 August 2010

Slow boy and TPS

Thursday 5th August 2010.6am - 2pm

6 hours sleep,alarm at 4.45am and arrived at 5.50am.Starbucks was already open, so had a warm "hot" chocolate and asked the Sri Lankan cricketer if i could work anywhere but the upstairs unit.

My wishes were granted and I joined the thick Somalian at 6am.He disappeared to complete the paper distribution and i was left to hold the fort.

I was on fire today and I needed to be.The phone went at 7.30am and it was the Algerian,"Your TPS was very poor mate only 1.1%" he said.
"I only had mint Aero's to sell,no £1 stickers and no-one buys chocolate at 6am" i replied.
A silence took place and the phone call was terminated abruptly.

The TPS was buzzing,the promotions were Skittles,Starbursts,all flavours of Galaxy and some dodgy chewing gum.

The quality of the women were exceptional today.Most of them were going to Paris with their partners but that didn't hold me back.I look at their fingers for wedding rings and plan my attack accordingly.

There was a very attractive English woman of about 30 who was smiling at me in the queue and that's like a red rag to a bull for me.I immediately collared her and she was off to visit her parents at their farm in Northampton on her own.

Its sad that we have the highest proportion of single over 30's in Europe.Lots of the female punters are happy going away with their girlfriends and don't even seem interested in finding a boyfriend.Of course i am carrying out vital research in the name of improving our society.

By now slow boy was on the scene talking complete gibberish as usual.The amount of time he takes to complete the replinishment process is ridiculous.
The process invloves making a thorough list of items required and then going to the stock room and filling a cage with the items.He then has to wheel the cage back to our unit and distribute the items in the correct positions.He may also have to insert new price slips under the products on the shelves.Whilst all this is going on he may have to jump onto a till to assist me with thirsty news hungry punters.

The Daily Mail readers are interesting because they are all the same age and have the same colour hair and even dress the same.

The English trolley dolly with French Glamour appeared out of nowhere,it was like a phoenix rising from the ashes.

She had purple nail varnish and was looking as dirty as she had all those weeks ago.
"Long time no see,where have you been?" i started.
"They sent me to Ashford but i'm back now,have you missed me?" she replied with a toothy grin and a husky voice.
"Are you back here for good?" i enquired.
"Yes, and i'm working a 12 hour shift today" she continued
"Where do you live?" i asked.
"Wood Green and you?" she answered
"I live close to here...." i said.
Off she went with her cigarettes and Lipton Iced Tea.

Rasta boy arrived at 12 and i haven't worked with him for ages.He is becoming increasingly lazy and slapdash in his work.He needs to find direction because he's going nowhere fast.We had a laugh and he said,"The only 2 people i like working with are you and the Romeo,you guys crack me up innit".
He is 26 and living at home and has no hope of getting his won place and this is beginning to affect his state of mind.

Some impressive flirting took place in the lunchtime session including a large blonde female from Leeds in her early 20's.I've noticed with all these large women that they have pleasant boat races and if they lost a few stone in weight they would have men falling over themselves.

I tidied up the whole back area behind the tills even though i know within 2 days it will be untidy again.The Algerian started calling me "The Englishman" again and kept on telling me i looked tired.

Its a fair point,i'm not used to these early shifts.The fat Indian bird is leaving at the end of the month to go back to India.She's completed her MBA and her Dad has arranged an interview with a global shipping company.Good luck to her i thought and walked off via the shop that the flat chested blonde works in.

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