The Skivvy

Monday 23rd August 2010.6am -2pm

I arrived in reasonable shape but 5 minutes late.I noticed that one of the slow Somalians had taken my regular berth with the queen.

The dude with the Michael Jackson hairdo circa 1970's delegated the magazines to me.
I shlepped 2 heavy cages full of magazines and distributed them.On a Monday the only change overs are Hello! and Ok! so it was a basic task which i completed in about an hour.

I then held the fort at the small unit upstairs which was incredibly boring.The highlight was reading the sports section in the Torygraph.

I was relieved of my duties by,the getting more attractive by the day black lady with the silver teeth and Jimmy Tarbuck gap.

It was at this point the Algerian dropped the bombshell,"the large Pakistani unit's wife had a baby last night and won't be in for a while".

This meant i would be dealing with deliveries and undertaking serious physical work.I attacked the cages with relish and prove that white boys can still work hard.
The rotweiller was loving seeing me working my bollocks off and at one point told me to take the mop and clean a spillage in one of the units.

At this point i felt like a skivvy but its all part of the process and i'm now full qualified in all duties at the PLC.I was sweating whilst lugging cases of soft drinks from the cages to the storage pallets.I felt my forearms increase in size during the day.

The final 30 minutes were spent with rasta boy where i tried it on with an American of about 35 who collects "shot" glasses everywhere she goes.Rasta boy pointed out that her partner was watching the incident unfold.She was blonde and very attractive but the diamond engagement ring was a giveaway.

I asked the Algerian 3 times whether the deliveries were going to be my regular slot this week but incredibly he couldn't tell me. The king's assistant is back from 3 weeks in St Tropez with her friends.She saves up all year for a 3 week blowout on the French riviera.I tried to discuss my contract arrangements but of course she was too busy.